Some Recent Commissions

“She’s like 62% into it”

Another night out in Edmonton in the books. This Saturday I went out for a friends birthday. Pretty average night out: girls were crying, boys were buying, creeps were trying, my feet were dying. I felt bad for my friend who’s birthday it was because it seemed like everything was going wrong so I stuck it out even thought I didn’t really know anybody and just tried to look happy without looking creepy while I stood by myself. One (very) young dude took this as his opportunity. An encounter with [dude who’s name rhymes with Chad… let’s call him Chad]:

Chad: “So, um.. I have a question for you.”

Me: “Okay..”

C: “What’s your name?”

Me, realizing this is going to be great entertainment: “Ariel”

C: “I’m Chad, do all of your tattoos have like meanings or do you just like them or like why did you get them?”

Me: “Uh.. I guess yeah, they all have a symbolic meaning to me”

He proceeds to go through all the ones he can see asking what they represent. I mean I just met the guy I don’t want to explain my whole life story so I change the subject to if he has any tattoos.

C, pointing to a baseball sized area on his crotch… well slightly to the left: “Yea I have like a rose like right here”

Me: “Why did you get that?”

C: “I don’t know I was wasted. Me and my buddy both got them”

Me: “You have matching rose tattoos on your crotch with your friend? How bromantic.”

C: “Yea I have other ones that you’ll see later but like I was also wasted. SO like what do you do?”

Me, still cringing at his assumption: “I’m an artist”

C: “You should make me a painting!”

Me: “If you pay me, sure! So what do you do?”

C: “I play hockey, can’t you tell? For the Kelowna Bears (*honestly don’t remember the team name) I have a house there. Well like my parents do and I live in it.. but not like in the basement or anything… I live in the normal part…” 

I also learn that he was studying to be a biomedical engineer. I ask him why,

C: “Well like I wanted to go into engineering and my mom told me I had to do biomedical because she’s in the pharmaceutical field. She works for [insert company name that apparently I should have heard of], she’s like 62% into it. I don’t even really like biomedical, I might do like civil.” 

Me, wondering what being 62% into it means: “Well that’s cool”

This is the most human interaction I’ve had at the bar which isn’t saying much. If anything, at least Chad can keep a conversation going.

C: “You’re probably wondering what happened to my face. I was stung by a bee. I was wearing safety goggles and everything and like it somehow got in there and stung me”

Me, not wondering what happened to his face at all: “Oh, I thought that was your regular face”

C: “So you thought my face was half fat, half really good looking?”

Me, caught between a rock and hard place: “Sure…”

Chad is still waiting for me to comment on his handsomeness.

Me, feeling like the expiration date on this conversation has passed: “Well I’m going to go find my friend and say goodbye now”

C: “Well can I text you and like ask you to go for lunch sometime?”

Me: “I’m going to say no”

C, distraught: “Okay”

Me: “But thanks for the conversation!”
Chad has already moved on. 

So since that night wasn’t going anywhere I decided to get some tacos. My friend Hugo recently opened his own food truck called “Street Tacos” which runs on Friday and Saturday nights 10pm-3am on 109st by the common and the Petro Canada. I got a beet taco and all my troubles melted away. Then I drove home because I don’t drink anymore and can drive anywhere and anytime I want! It’s great.



Fingers Are Not Round (08-24-18)

I’ve been waiting to write this next blog post until something exciting happened to me but the most exciting thing in current events is that I’ve had a revelation about the shape of fingers. I was accompanying my friend to a jeweller (that took me 6 times to spell right) and besides awkwardly trying to not seem like my friends fiancé, I learned that fingers are square. Did you know that?! I have spent 26 years thinking “oh yes of course my fingers are round” but if you look straight down your finger you will notice those lanky nublets are in fact square! An entire paragraph has been dedicated to this subject because this is how exciting my life is. 

I have gone out on the weekends but its rather repetitive: wear heels, regret it, watch people get drunk, avoid drunk people trying to touch you, have yelling conversation about nothing because music is too loud, rinse and repeat. Variations being the locations and people. One night for my friends birthday they booked the penthouse suite at the Hendrix and everyone bust out into photoshoot mode because the views were bomb. I feel too shy asking people to take my pictures so I have one awkward photo of myself on the balcony and that’ll have to do. Also I have an iphone SE which if you think about it… the only iphone without a number… Where is the iphone 9? Basically I have an iphone 9 except its cracked to the point where I can’t even answer the phone and taking a selfie is just impossible. So I’m often too embarrassed to pass my phone to someone to take a photo. 

I have also noticed that it seems the same people go to the same bars every weekend. Almost like its in their calendar… “Friday 9am-5pm work, 5pm-11pm binge watch Netflix and eat instant noodles, 11pm-2am spend what you made today on disgusting vodka sodas until you forget about all your troubles… and your home address… where your shoes are… who Keke is.” One interesting person I ran into at the bar is someone I knew from elementary school. He introduced me to his buddies as his “elementary school crush” which I thought was crazy because he was my elementary school crush. Looking back he made the solid observation that this is something we should have communicated in elementary school. 

Last night I wanted to check out some live music that was happening at The Buckingham so I went after work by myself. After quickly realizing that everyone there was way cooler than me and had the round spectacles to prove it I just stole a stool and watched from the corner. Happy that I didn’t have to pay for my gingerale, and that the music was good, it suddenly dawned on me that I knew one of the band members playing that night. It was probably around 6 years ago that I saw them playing last and grew a big crush on the lead singer and made it painfully obviously by flirting with him after the show… and telling his sister… and bass player… maybe even his mom that I thought he was cute. Somehow the stars aligned and he asked me for my number. We talked for a while and I think we even made plans for a date but one day he just ghosted. That was that. Never talked again. I left last night without bothering to bring it up or talk to him. Maybe I missed out on a great romance but for now I’m happy with my forever-alone, only ever cuddle with dogs, keeps multiple snacks in my bed incase I get hungry, single and sometimes downloads Tinder only to delete it 30 seconds later, square-fingered ways. 

 

Party like it's 1979 (07-31-18)

1979 Ice Capades Jacket

1979 Ice Capades Jacket

Like any day where you manage to put together a sick OOTD you must recruit your mom to take some photos of you in the backyard next to all the dog poo and beautiful scenery (yes I still live at home like any true artist). Continuing with my current obsession with statement pieces I decided to pull out my moms old Ice Capades letterman to wear to this years Mode Made fashion event. And yes, if you were wondering, she was basically an ice skating celebrity princess in 1979. 

So I go to this fashion show alone because why the hell not I’m an independent woman and I run into this girl I haven’t seen in a decade (Sarah) who is also alone. Perfect because no matter what you tell yourself it’s always awkward to go to fashion shows alone. I would know because I’ve been to one… this one. 

I was actually a lot less intimidating than I had expected and I was running into some familiar faces. Two of which were people I knew separately but seem to be on a date together. Well truthfully I didn’t realize that I knew the guy at first. They approach me and the girl I know is introducing her date, “Ariel, have you met so-and-so?” As I went to shake his hand while also shaking my head “no” it suddenly hit me that I do know him… “Oh wait YES!” to which she replies “Oh how do you two know each other?” Followed by an extremely awkward silence where nobody said a word and just simmered in panic and hot air. It was a very sweaty venue by the way. I normally would just let the cat out of the bag because it would make for a hilarious story but this is a fashion show. One must be classy at fashion shows. Luckily she changes the subject to some other embarrassing gossip that has been circulating about me, “Is it true what they say happened between you and [un-named person who was very helpful in me being fired from my last job]?” It obviously was true because I’m a sensational person leaving chaos in my wake, but I didn’t want her to know that. “What have you heard????” She must be well read in the topic snitches get stitches because she suddenly vamoosed leaving me on a cliffhanger wanting more. “Come back!” my heart yearn after her wanting the juice. Sarah, who I knew from church, has questions.  

Several minutes pass while making dead end conversations with people I don’t know until the show begins. Beautiful people who you’re afraid to be attracted to because you know they’re probably all underage strut across the stage like stars passing in the night sky. The beauty. The end. It’s over already? This being my first fashion show I was very impressed and also surprised at how quickly it all happens. After the show I try to socialize with one of the organizers that I know from email correspondence. There is no natural way to say “Oh by the way you already know who I am but incase you have absolutely no idea my name is Ariel” so I just talk to her like she knows me but her face is clearly saying otherwise. I eat my cotton candy and leave before it gets worse. One person points out my shoes to her friend. They’re holographic and sexy. 

I suddenly realize that it’s Tuesday and they have live music at my friends bar Accent Lounge on Whyte Ave so I head that way. At a red light some girl starts jumping around and waving at my car. OMG it’s my friend Adaire from university I haven’t seen in years! And her husband! And my other friend Anna! And more importantly a dog!!! It was an exciting 20 seconds before the light changed. I was starting to feel lucky that I had run into so many past acquaintances today. Those types of coincidences always make me feel like I’m heading in the right direction. Probably because that’s what happens in movies. So I get to Accent and another girl I knew from uni and haven’t seen in years is there. How magical. So the music playing is a live jazz jam sesh with real saxophones and boop dee dahs. I feel extra classy in my red satin letterman draped over my shoulders while sipping on …soda water. I used to have a painting hanging in this lounge of a naked woman lounging on a sofa with her head all spray painted in pastel colours. The painting sold (thank the Lord!) after only three years of being up here and in it’s place was a new painting by Nick Davies. This new painting is sort of a collage style featuring a woman's head. Clay, the owner, very astutely noticed how the old painting was a woman with no head and the new one has only a head. Mind blown. After I finish my soda water and leave I’m driving through the alley waiting for pedestrians to get out of the way when an old coworker of mine [from job mentioned earlier] runs right past my car kind of jumping and waving crazily like Adaire had earlier in this exact spot. What a strange day. 

Well all of those chance encounters made me feel like I was right where I was meant to be in that moment. Or feeling like Edmonton is small. Either way - if you managed to read through this entire post perhaps you also are right where you are meant to be today. And if you’re also feeling like I left you on a cliffhanger earlier and you’re wanting the juice… my mom reads this blog so too bad. 

 

Always Wear a Hat to The Party (07-21-18)

Well hats optional, but they do tend to make a statement. This weekend I was invited to the Porsche event at MKT and it happened to fall near the end of my hair washing schedule so I had to make the tough choice of either washing my hair to impress the bourgeoisie or fucking the patriarchy with nasty hair… discreetly under my hat. I’m not sure if any of that made sense but nevertheless I am and forever will be lazy. Hat won. 

How I was invited to this fancy party still amazes me but somehow I ended up walking around MKT for 5 whole minutes trying to find the front door. I somehow managed and the bouncer was giving me the “nu-uh-you-better-get-your-ass-to-the-back-of-the-line” glare but I countered with a super cute “I think security has my ticket??” and all he needed was my name. Like a magic password “Ariel” got me right through the gate. The 50 people behind me in line had all of a sudden legally changed their names and were hollering that they in fact were Ariel and not me but Bitch I’m Madonna. As in Ariel is unique enough to not require a last name… most days. 

This super fancy man approached and I’m assuming he was the GM or in charge of fancy Porsche parties. He told me they were taking bets on wether I would be a mermaid or a princess. I felt hella fancy (you can tell by how many times I’ve used the word already). The next day I received a DM from this man in charge telling me that a VIP asked him to put me on the list so they made a list. Greatest achievement of my life (other than my degree, world travels, art exhibitions, keeping a plant alive longer than 5 years, etc). But for a night I was a priority at a fancy party full of millionaires. Boy were they fooled. 

So you could say the main demographic of this party was Sugar Daddy. It suddenly hit me that I’ve been hanging out at the wrong bars. But it wasn’t too long until I ran into a few casual acquaintances… past lovers, stalkers, people who got me fired, etc. Sipping on my gingerale I decided to engage in a real conversation with the angel who got me a ticket. You know, a conversation where you’re not looking over their shoulder in a blank gaze searching for someone more interesting and shiny but are actually interested in what they have to offer. Turns out my chaperone has written a book, rides motorcycles, contemplates philosophical questions. This has been a goal of mine since I quit drinking - to practice being more engaged and confident without the alcohol. Surprisingly I only met and talked to one other person there. Well there was the occasional drunk girl telling me how much they loved my hat. But I probably looked spoken for. 

My dreams of driving a Porsche at the party were smashed when we decided to walk over to the new Bottega. Less disappointing was the restaurant. It had it’s soft opening that day and it was turning into a little vip after party celebration with one of the owners and his friends. Met a lot more people here. Most of which were older men who I felt wanted in my pants (well culottes to be specific), but I did have some interesting conversations. One man asked me why I wanted to wear a hat and the response of not wanting to wash my hair seemed to upset his idea of femininity. Another of these men who was flirting with me happens to be the father of this guy who constantly tries to add me on Snapchat. I’m not going to lie, it feels great to have multiple generations interested. The overall feel of the place was also great. Reminded me of when the downtown Bottega first opened. 

Overall, it was a successful night of not drinking and being mistaken for important. I’ve actually learned to enjoy going out sober more than drunk. The only downside is not having alcohol to numb the pain of wearing heels. I enjoy having a clear mind while I’m meeting new people and being able to drive home when I want. I did wake up dehydrated though. Need more water. I should know this by know… I have raised a plant. 

Clobot

Here are some shots of the incredible local tattoo artist - Chad Cloutier aka Clobot. He also happens to be my tattoo artist :)

Maia & Brian

I've been working on these wedding photos and it's taking one million years to get through them all and I can't wait to share them but here's a little taste of what I've been working on! It's easy taking fairytale pictures of a fairytale couple. I've never worked with people who were as natural and comfortable with themselves as Maia & Brian. It was such an honour being a part of their wedding and I hope these images to come captured some of the magic of that day.

"Maia & Brian", by Ariel Durkin, Digital Photograph shot in Entwhistle, Alberta, 2015

"Maia & Brian", by Ariel Durkin, Digital Photograph shot in Entwhistle, Alberta, 2015